Hello all!
I know it has been a while since posting. You'll have to excuse me for that! I have been feeling a little run down lately and have had trouble waking up in the mornings. My energy is not what it usually is. I am not sure yet if it is adjustment to night school or if I am coming down with something.
But I am feeling pretty good today!
I am currently knitting up a storm. Seeing as it is the holiday season, and I actually love to make things for people it is a good match. My nieces and nephew's presents are almost complete and some of the adults in my life are under way as well.
I have been having fun making up a couple of patterns as I go along. That shows me that my confidence is rising in my abilities.
My knitting endeavors show me a few things about myself as I take stock in what I am in the midst of producing.
1. I knit for others first. This tends to be my motto when it comes to those I care about. I seem to worry about others and then myself in life. I sometimes forget to do things for myself.
SOLUTION: In the midst of the holiday knitting I saw a pattern suggestion for this great scok yarn that was not a sock. I decided that I would make that for myself in the midst of all my holiday knitting. I may not get it done for a while, but I will get it done!
2. I'm just a girl who can't say no! Someone asks and even if I say no there is still some pushing for me to do it. There is that feeling of letting people down if I say no and for some reason I can't handle them being upset with me(Silly I know!).
SOLUTION: Say yes but that it might take a bit of time to get it to them. In knitting either they forget about it or they will eventually get it and that calms them down.
3. Despite what people may think, I am actually a pretty organized person. I know what yarn I have. I know most of the needles I have. I also know what I am knitting for whom and when I need it done by. It's interesting that I have spent most of my life believing that I am not the most organized, messy sure but organized? No way! What's funny is that I run an office and I am organized enough to know before hand what and where the problems are to head them off. My mother's family are all organizers of some form or another. So where is the surprise?
I think it is amazing how one's perception of oneself stays with you even if the signs are there that you are wrong of your self image. Of course it can be too good a perception or horrible perception, but sometimes you have to stop and take stock of where you are in the moment and not in the past. It is ok for me to knit for myself in the chaos of holiday knitting and yes I can say no!
I didn't plan for this to be so heavy! Talk to y'all later
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Musical musings
Happy Monday to you all!
Today is going to be a short note to you all.
I am still singing most Sundays at a church in the west end. The solists rotate singing a solo. It was my turn yesterday. I sang "O rest in the Lord" from "Elijah" by Mendelsson.
After the service an older women (meaning older than my parents) stopped me in the hallway & asked if I was the soloist. She told me it was her first time at the church. She started to talk about the music but broke down in tears. She was quite eimbarrassed & surprised that she was reacting the way she was.
I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about that music by it's very nature is meant to evoke emotions in people whether it is good, bad, happy or sad. She was still quite worried about it. I also explained that my mother when she hears organ music often has a strong response, so she wasn't alone. That seemed to make her feel better & off she went off to coffee hour.
That moment meant alot to me for many reasons. Primarily it reminds me that the power of music is so strong. I realize that although the professional singer I was is no longer, I can still touch someone. For me that is what singing was always about. Being able to touch that one person enough to tears. It also shows me that no matter what I am now & always will be a singer, professional or not. It is in my heart & soul.
Today is going to be a short note to you all.
I am still singing most Sundays at a church in the west end. The solists rotate singing a solo. It was my turn yesterday. I sang "O rest in the Lord" from "Elijah" by Mendelsson.
After the service an older women (meaning older than my parents) stopped me in the hallway & asked if I was the soloist. She told me it was her first time at the church. She started to talk about the music but broke down in tears. She was quite eimbarrassed & surprised that she was reacting the way she was.
I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about that music by it's very nature is meant to evoke emotions in people whether it is good, bad, happy or sad. She was still quite worried about it. I also explained that my mother when she hears organ music often has a strong response, so she wasn't alone. That seemed to make her feel better & off she went off to coffee hour.
That moment meant alot to me for many reasons. Primarily it reminds me that the power of music is so strong. I realize that although the professional singer I was is no longer, I can still touch someone. For me that is what singing was always about. Being able to touch that one person enough to tears. It also shows me that no matter what I am now & always will be a singer, professional or not. It is in my heart & soul.
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