Dear body,
I appreciate all that you do for me. I really do. I know that without you I wouldn't exist.
I admit that there are times where I don't take care of you properly. I may eat the wrong things or not exercise enough. I may spend too much time sitting for long periods of time or walk for a lot longer than I probably should. Yes, I do the best I can with what I've got and am far from perfect.
You are important to me and obviously you are not very happy with me today.
Did I do something to offend you? Are you punishing me for past wrongs? Was the haircut really that bad?
I understand that one gets sick. I have spent many years going through an infection or two every 3-4 months. It eventually started slowing down. I know it has been a year since my last infection but I don't want one now, please. Is this just a way for me to remember? Trust me I remember!
I remember falling asleep only to wake up in the middle of the night in the clothes you wore all day & all the lights are on in the room. I remember getting a phone call but completely missing it although I have apparently had a conversation with someone.
I remember my ear drums playing the little drummer boy. I remember the pain around my eyes caused by my sinuses. I remember taking an hour to get out of bed even though I have to get to work. I can also remember the headaches.
Oh and how could I ever forget feeling like there is sandpaper in my throat?
You see body I don't forget. I have suffered many times over and over. I was sort of hoping you might hold off for a while. I wish I knew what I could do to help you get over the pain of the past. Can't we move forward and work towards a fulfilling mutually benefitial relationship for both of us?
I would truly love a reply to my plea. You know where to find me!
Rosie
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Musical musings
Happy Monday to you all!
Today is going to be a short note to you all.
I am still singing most Sundays at a church in the west end. The solists rotate singing a solo. It was my turn yesterday. I sang "O rest in the Lord" from "Elijah" by Mendelsson.
After the service an older women (meaning older than my parents) stopped me in the hallway & asked if I was the soloist. She told me it was her first time at the church. She started to talk about the music but broke down in tears. She was quite eimbarrassed & surprised that she was reacting the way she was.
I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about that music by it's very nature is meant to evoke emotions in people whether it is good, bad, happy or sad. She was still quite worried about it. I also explained that my mother when she hears organ music often has a strong response, so she wasn't alone. That seemed to make her feel better & off she went off to coffee hour.
That moment meant alot to me for many reasons. Primarily it reminds me that the power of music is so strong. I realize that although the professional singer I was is no longer, I can still touch someone. For me that is what singing was always about. Being able to touch that one person enough to tears. It also shows me that no matter what I am now & always will be a singer, professional or not. It is in my heart & soul.
Today is going to be a short note to you all.
I am still singing most Sundays at a church in the west end. The solists rotate singing a solo. It was my turn yesterday. I sang "O rest in the Lord" from "Elijah" by Mendelsson.
After the service an older women (meaning older than my parents) stopped me in the hallway & asked if I was the soloist. She told me it was her first time at the church. She started to talk about the music but broke down in tears. She was quite eimbarrassed & surprised that she was reacting the way she was.
I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about that music by it's very nature is meant to evoke emotions in people whether it is good, bad, happy or sad. She was still quite worried about it. I also explained that my mother when she hears organ music often has a strong response, so she wasn't alone. That seemed to make her feel better & off she went off to coffee hour.
That moment meant alot to me for many reasons. Primarily it reminds me that the power of music is so strong. I realize that although the professional singer I was is no longer, I can still touch someone. For me that is what singing was always about. Being able to touch that one person enough to tears. It also shows me that no matter what I am now & always will be a singer, professional or not. It is in my heart & soul.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Show some manners! PLEASE!
I am in a weird mood today.
I am blaming an incident in my class last night as the reason for it.
We had a sub last night. She explained that she was not as familar with the reasearch function that we were using. She struggled a bit. But I figure we are all learning how to do it together. In order to prove a point she started to read something from the text and a woman in the class said very loudly "I can read thanks!" This stopped the instructor in her tracks and she naturally responded with "Excuse me?" The woman responded with "Oh I wasn't talking to you." It was obvious she was talking about the instructor, whether it was intentionally directed at the instructor or not.
The instructor looked like she wanted to say something so badly. But instead she took the high road and had us work on something that our regular instructor was supposed to have emailed us, but none of us got. The rude woman got up & left after that.
After the class I went up to the instructor & appologized for the woman (I don't know her but I felt bad that someone would do that to another person!). The instructor told me that if she had been the actually instructor, she would have totally told off the woman but seeing as this was only one time she would be here, she bit her tongue.
My problem with the whole thing is that we are all human. There is no need in this situation to have been a nasty rude person, what-so-ever. I don't care how bored, frustrated or whatever you're feeling. You don't treat people like that. My nieces & nephew wouldn't act that way & they are all under 10!
I know I should shake it off. I will eventually, but I need to wind down. I'm sure I will be fine by lunchtime!
I did learn how to read & write citations. So something good came out of it.
I also realise that not only am I a sensitive person, but I am also an unusual person (Insert joker here!). But that is for another post at another time!
I am blaming an incident in my class last night as the reason for it.
We had a sub last night. She explained that she was not as familar with the reasearch function that we were using. She struggled a bit. But I figure we are all learning how to do it together. In order to prove a point she started to read something from the text and a woman in the class said very loudly "I can read thanks!" This stopped the instructor in her tracks and she naturally responded with "Excuse me?" The woman responded with "Oh I wasn't talking to you." It was obvious she was talking about the instructor, whether it was intentionally directed at the instructor or not.
The instructor looked like she wanted to say something so badly. But instead she took the high road and had us work on something that our regular instructor was supposed to have emailed us, but none of us got. The rude woman got up & left after that.
After the class I went up to the instructor & appologized for the woman (I don't know her but I felt bad that someone would do that to another person!). The instructor told me that if she had been the actually instructor, she would have totally told off the woman but seeing as this was only one time she would be here, she bit her tongue.
My problem with the whole thing is that we are all human. There is no need in this situation to have been a nasty rude person, what-so-ever. I don't care how bored, frustrated or whatever you're feeling. You don't treat people like that. My nieces & nephew wouldn't act that way & they are all under 10!
I know I should shake it off. I will eventually, but I need to wind down. I'm sure I will be fine by lunchtime!
I did learn how to read & write citations. So something good came out of it.
I also realise that not only am I a sensitive person, but I am also an unusual person (Insert joker here!). But that is for another post at another time!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
R.I.P.
First off I would like to have a moment of silence for Patrick Swayze.
I am not sure why I am more upset by his passing than say Michael Jackson. But it is a two-fold reason.
Firstly, PS was in many of my youthful movies, that I loved watching. The Outsiders, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing & Ghost were all movies that have had some siginifigance in my growing up. How many times have we referenced a line or two from Dirty Dancing? Or tried the final lift that Baby can't do. So in a way it's like saying good -bye to your youth.
I think the second reason it has hit me more is that our client and freind, Sam George, died of pancreatic cancer at the beinging of the summer. Sam was diagnosed after PS but passed away in about 9 months. PS lasted more than twice as long than that. I may not have know Sam for a long time, but he did make a mark in my adult life if even for a brief moment. Sam was always in a good mood (I have heard about when he wasn't, but I never saw that side!)! He was also the first client I got to know here. He told Murray that I was a keeper a couple of days after I started working here!
So now I would like a moment of silence for Sam.
I don't have anymore to say right now!
I am not sure why I am more upset by his passing than say Michael Jackson. But it is a two-fold reason.
Firstly, PS was in many of my youthful movies, that I loved watching. The Outsiders, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing & Ghost were all movies that have had some siginifigance in my growing up. How many times have we referenced a line or two from Dirty Dancing? Or tried the final lift that Baby can't do. So in a way it's like saying good -bye to your youth.
I think the second reason it has hit me more is that our client and freind, Sam George, died of pancreatic cancer at the beinging of the summer. Sam was diagnosed after PS but passed away in about 9 months. PS lasted more than twice as long than that. I may not have know Sam for a long time, but he did make a mark in my adult life if even for a brief moment. Sam was always in a good mood (I have heard about when he wasn't, but I never saw that side!)! He was also the first client I got to know here. He told Murray that I was a keeper a couple of days after I started working here!
So now I would like a moment of silence for Sam.
I don't have anymore to say right now!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday!
Good morning all!
Firstly, if there are a few spelling mistakes in my entries as of late I apologize. They have changed the formatting tools on the blog, but I haven't yet found the spell checker. Of course in my humble opinion, the spell checker is the most important tool of all!
If you know where it is, please let me know. I have been trying to go back & check on my own, but I am only human & therefore I am not perfect (contrary to what you might think!)!
So I have spent the last 3 days trying to read the stuff for my class tomorrow night. After 3 days of trying, I finally got through it. Yes I understand it, but my question is why must everything be written in long stupid explanations? I understand that Binding law is always (with few exceptions!) what the higher courts have decided.
I am still feeling a bit of trepidation, but I think once I really get in the swing of it, all will be well! I finally figured out this morning that I had been signing into the wrong thing on-line to get my course notes. But there still seems to be a problem with getting anything on the new website too. I am sure that will get figured out soon enough!
Dad's blanket is getting big now. When I work on it, I can stay warm underneath it! I have offically finished a second skein of one of the yarns & in two weeks will be ready for a new round of them ( I only work on the blanket at Knit-o-matic on the weekends) so I won't get to the colour I don't have for another couple of weeks (Yes! It's getting that big!). Haley was nice enough to stash it away for me because the colours are starting deminish in quantity. So she has hidden them away, so I can get them in a couple of weeks.
I have also started work on another hat for myself. Hats are general quick & easy & my head is rather large so I often have a hard time finding a hat that fits my head. So knitting a hat is great for me! Eve, one of the Stitch N' Bitch ladies, made a great ear-flap hat in noro, so I think I am going to make myself one simular to that !
I am also going to take a mitten class, so I can make mitts to match all my hats!
Firstly, if there are a few spelling mistakes in my entries as of late I apologize. They have changed the formatting tools on the blog, but I haven't yet found the spell checker. Of course in my humble opinion, the spell checker is the most important tool of all!
If you know where it is, please let me know. I have been trying to go back & check on my own, but I am only human & therefore I am not perfect (contrary to what you might think!)!
So I have spent the last 3 days trying to read the stuff for my class tomorrow night. After 3 days of trying, I finally got through it. Yes I understand it, but my question is why must everything be written in long stupid explanations? I understand that Binding law is always (with few exceptions!) what the higher courts have decided.
I am still feeling a bit of trepidation, but I think once I really get in the swing of it, all will be well! I finally figured out this morning that I had been signing into the wrong thing on-line to get my course notes. But there still seems to be a problem with getting anything on the new website too. I am sure that will get figured out soon enough!
Dad's blanket is getting big now. When I work on it, I can stay warm underneath it! I have offically finished a second skein of one of the yarns & in two weeks will be ready for a new round of them ( I only work on the blanket at Knit-o-matic on the weekends) so I won't get to the colour I don't have for another couple of weeks (Yes! It's getting that big!). Haley was nice enough to stash it away for me because the colours are starting deminish in quantity. So she has hidden them away, so I can get them in a couple of weeks.
I have also started work on another hat for myself. Hats are general quick & easy & my head is rather large so I often have a hard time finding a hat that fits my head. So knitting a hat is great for me! Eve, one of the Stitch N' Bitch ladies, made a great ear-flap hat in noro, so I think I am going to make myself one simular to that !
I am also going to take a mitten class, so I can make mitts to match all my hats!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
TTC Things That (drive me) Crazy
I am going on a TTC rampage.
On the whole I love our public transit system. I love that I can get anywhere from my house in about half an hour. I could be going north, south, east or west if I go into a station anywhere really really fast!
My gripes are as follows:
1. There was a horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, mildew smell at the south entrance at the St. Clair West escalators. It was horrible! That was in February! They then shut down the escalators for maintenance to presumably fix the escalators. The only way down was the stairs. Not good if you are with stroller or wheelchair! They kept putting a sign up saying it would be fixed. It was not fixed until July! That's way too long! Especially when there is no accessibilty at either St Clair West entrances!
2.People on the subway are stupid. Who stands in the doorway of a completly empty train on the side that the platform is on? I understand if it is rush hour & full but honestly!
3. People on the subway smell. I accept that body odour exists. I accept that people will lather on smelly stuff to mask the odour. But there are people not only with bad B.O. but the scent they are masking it with is just as bad. And it gives me a headache or a runny nose because I am allergic to the combo!
4. People on the subway are rude. Bags & backpacks should be put in between your legs not on your shoulder. If there is a sudden jolt you could take someone out. It is common sense people! Also people who are pregnant, obviously injured, too old to balance properly, or too little to balance properly should be given your damn seats! And if someone gets up to give one of these people their seat, don't steal it from underneath them!
5. Sunday bus service is really stupid! I have to get to my church gig at 9:00am on Sunday mornings. The trains start operating at 9:00am. So in order to get there on time I have to take a bus across Bloor St from Bathurst all the way over to Dundas West. Once I'm on the bus it goes really fast. But waiting is rediculous! If you don't get there before 8:10 you have to wait almost 30 mins before another shows up. Correction, 2 or 3 go by in the other direction, 2 or 3 go by and are out of service! When the bus finally arrives it is followed by another 2 Buses. What's the point really? It does not make me love the transit system on a cold Sunday morn!
6. I am a mental case! I admit to mild claustrophobia. It is particularly bad on the Subway at rush hour. I have pretty much solved the problem by listening to my ipod & therefore I block out the noise & my mind can't play games on me. All though I have to get off the subway first. Only because I NEED to get out of there! One time we lost complete power in the cars (lights too!). I had a crazy panic attack. I don't usually have panic attacks. So I am for some reason a TTCophobe!
My final question is how on earth does someone put a full face of make-up on? I'm talking foundation, eye-liner, mascara, etc. I would be affraid to blind myself if the car jerked. Can you not take an extra 10 mins out of your day to do it at home or the gym? I don't care if you are reapplying lipstick, but eyeliner? Really?
The one thing I really like about the TTC is the different people who ride it. There is such a variety of people from every background, race, age, level of reality. So watching the people despite my issues is quite intriguing.
On the whole I love our public transit system. I love that I can get anywhere from my house in about half an hour. I could be going north, south, east or west if I go into a station anywhere really really fast!
My gripes are as follows:
1. There was a horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, mildew smell at the south entrance at the St. Clair West escalators. It was horrible! That was in February! They then shut down the escalators for maintenance to presumably fix the escalators. The only way down was the stairs. Not good if you are with stroller or wheelchair! They kept putting a sign up saying it would be fixed. It was not fixed until July! That's way too long! Especially when there is no accessibilty at either St Clair West entrances!
2.People on the subway are stupid. Who stands in the doorway of a completly empty train on the side that the platform is on? I understand if it is rush hour & full but honestly!
3. People on the subway smell. I accept that body odour exists. I accept that people will lather on smelly stuff to mask the odour. But there are people not only with bad B.O. but the scent they are masking it with is just as bad. And it gives me a headache or a runny nose because I am allergic to the combo!
4. People on the subway are rude. Bags & backpacks should be put in between your legs not on your shoulder. If there is a sudden jolt you could take someone out. It is common sense people! Also people who are pregnant, obviously injured, too old to balance properly, or too little to balance properly should be given your damn seats! And if someone gets up to give one of these people their seat, don't steal it from underneath them!
5. Sunday bus service is really stupid! I have to get to my church gig at 9:00am on Sunday mornings. The trains start operating at 9:00am. So in order to get there on time I have to take a bus across Bloor St from Bathurst all the way over to Dundas West. Once I'm on the bus it goes really fast. But waiting is rediculous! If you don't get there before 8:10 you have to wait almost 30 mins before another shows up. Correction, 2 or 3 go by in the other direction, 2 or 3 go by and are out of service! When the bus finally arrives it is followed by another 2 Buses. What's the point really? It does not make me love the transit system on a cold Sunday morn!
6. I am a mental case! I admit to mild claustrophobia. It is particularly bad on the Subway at rush hour. I have pretty much solved the problem by listening to my ipod & therefore I block out the noise & my mind can't play games on me. All though I have to get off the subway first. Only because I NEED to get out of there! One time we lost complete power in the cars (lights too!). I had a crazy panic attack. I don't usually have panic attacks. So I am for some reason a TTCophobe!
My final question is how on earth does someone put a full face of make-up on? I'm talking foundation, eye-liner, mascara, etc. I would be affraid to blind myself if the car jerked. Can you not take an extra 10 mins out of your day to do it at home or the gym? I don't care if you are reapplying lipstick, but eyeliner? Really?
The one thing I really like about the TTC is the different people who ride it. There is such a variety of people from every background, race, age, level of reality. So watching the people despite my issues is quite intriguing.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tuesday's musings
I got up this morning at 5:45am (Willingly!) after a night of some really bizzare dreams. I am not going to share those. The dreams are for me & me alone.
I went off to the Gym for a 35min swim. I felt like I was going slower then ever before. But I went & felt really good afterwords. I washed my hair & walked the 1 1/2 blocks to the office.
Then it hit at 2:30! I want to curl up for a nap! Why? Because I would feel better.
I have to laugh at myself because I start my Law Clerks class tonight and breifly (But not really planning to) skip the class and go home. I laugh because after acutally going to "real school" last in 1993 I am a tad scared. Excited but scared and the scared part of me thought of skipping out. But my older sensibilities have gotten the better of me in my old age and of course I can't skip the first class. I need to save myself for later on in the course when I'm too sick or really lazy to go. I have six months of this class. I need to pace my skipping.
It's not even really going to the class that's the problem. It's the getting home part. The class finishes at 9:15pm. But it will probably take an hour to get home. I briefly considered cycling down there. But I am a relatively new cyclist & don't have the correct nighttime flashy wear. I have bike lights that flash! I just don't have any clothes! Maybe I'll change my mind in a couple of weeks & go.
RANDOM WEEKEND BITS!
Mum's sweater is finally done! I washed it and it is currently drying. What is thrilling about this is that I am now only left with two promised knitting/crocheted gifts. A bag for my sister, which I will fiinish sometime this week & a knitted blanket for my Dad. I can only work on the blanket a little at a time. It is abit of a mind numbing project & if I only worked on that I would not be happy. It is a beautiful blanket! I normally work on it at the weekend Stitch N' Bitch at Knit-o-Matic (Which moves back to Sundays this weekend!). People who come into the store are often admiring it.
This weekend I knitted myself an ear flap hat. It took me one day to complete! It is Malabrigo(Brand of Yarn) Chunky (Weight of yarn). It is in a variation of purple. I want to make one in another colour. This is going to be my winter going to the Gym hat!
I went for a fabulous 2 hour walk on Sunday. Just me, my ipod & my camera! I walked all the way to the St Lawrence Market. It was closed. I was surprised by that. The flea market part was open, but not the main market. I did acheive my photo goals. I had wanted to take a photo of the Flatiron Building. I think if they are any good, I will use them in my old Toronto photo group. One of my neighbours up the street have these really weird yet beautiful flower. It will be added to my lovely flower collection.
I even found frames for the flower group of pictures! Homesense is great for frames, but bad for me to enter into! I didn't want to spend anything this past weekend, but alas there were four of the exact same frames so I could do a group of them together. You have to be careful at Homesense. Some of the frames have nicks on them. Not the ones I found though.
So the big thing is I had over 1800 photos on this one card (OMG! That's friggin' huge!). I am now at 650 left. So I am slwoly inching towards the end of the card. But the question is should I empty if now incase something should happen to it? Or should I try and fill the whole thing?
I went off to the Gym for a 35min swim. I felt like I was going slower then ever before. But I went & felt really good afterwords. I washed my hair & walked the 1 1/2 blocks to the office.
Then it hit at 2:30! I want to curl up for a nap! Why? Because I would feel better.
I have to laugh at myself because I start my Law Clerks class tonight and breifly (But not really planning to) skip the class and go home. I laugh because after acutally going to "real school" last in 1993 I am a tad scared. Excited but scared and the scared part of me thought of skipping out. But my older sensibilities have gotten the better of me in my old age and of course I can't skip the first class. I need to save myself for later on in the course when I'm too sick or really lazy to go. I have six months of this class. I need to pace my skipping.
It's not even really going to the class that's the problem. It's the getting home part. The class finishes at 9:15pm. But it will probably take an hour to get home. I briefly considered cycling down there. But I am a relatively new cyclist & don't have the correct nighttime flashy wear. I have bike lights that flash! I just don't have any clothes! Maybe I'll change my mind in a couple of weeks & go.
RANDOM WEEKEND BITS!
Mum's sweater is finally done! I washed it and it is currently drying. What is thrilling about this is that I am now only left with two promised knitting/crocheted gifts. A bag for my sister, which I will fiinish sometime this week & a knitted blanket for my Dad. I can only work on the blanket a little at a time. It is abit of a mind numbing project & if I only worked on that I would not be happy. It is a beautiful blanket! I normally work on it at the weekend Stitch N' Bitch at Knit-o-Matic (Which moves back to Sundays this weekend!). People who come into the store are often admiring it.
This weekend I knitted myself an ear flap hat. It took me one day to complete! It is Malabrigo(Brand of Yarn) Chunky (Weight of yarn). It is in a variation of purple. I want to make one in another colour. This is going to be my winter going to the Gym hat!
I went for a fabulous 2 hour walk on Sunday. Just me, my ipod & my camera! I walked all the way to the St Lawrence Market. It was closed. I was surprised by that. The flea market part was open, but not the main market. I did acheive my photo goals. I had wanted to take a photo of the Flatiron Building. I think if they are any good, I will use them in my old Toronto photo group. One of my neighbours up the street have these really weird yet beautiful flower. It will be added to my lovely flower collection.
I even found frames for the flower group of pictures! Homesense is great for frames, but bad for me to enter into! I didn't want to spend anything this past weekend, but alas there were four of the exact same frames so I could do a group of them together. You have to be careful at Homesense. Some of the frames have nicks on them. Not the ones I found though.
So the big thing is I had over 1800 photos on this one card (OMG! That's friggin' huge!). I am now at 650 left. So I am slwoly inching towards the end of the card. But the question is should I empty if now incase something should happen to it? Or should I try and fill the whole thing?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Randomness Ravings of a Crazy Lady!
So last night's stitch n Bitch was a lot of fun.
There was lots of things to talk about. Seeing as here in Toronto there is some crazy stuff going on. The former Attorney General had an altercation with a cyclist ( I am not making a judgement either way on that one until the facts come out. I have heard a million different things & that makes it hard to fully decide what is right or wrong, or who did what to whom. The whole thing is just bizarre!).
There was also that same night, a wacko who after an altercation with a woman got on a bus & eventually pulled out a can of gasoline, poured it on the bus seats, then set it a blaze. It was captured on the TTC security camera in the bus. As weird as it was, who on earth just happens to carry a can of gasoline in their bag? Is it just for emergencies? I know I am often annoyed when I realise I left my gas can in my other bag. BIZARRE!
But those conversations weren't as much fun as the bad actors who win awards for bad performances.
We started a conversation about bad clothing issues. Sort of fashion police kind of stuff. I went on a rant about age appropriate jeans for my Mum, muffin tops, capped sleeves, Shorts on fat people ( I am a recovering fat person who wore shorts so I know of what I speak!), the disappointment of selection of plus sized clothes in the late eighties, early nineties when I could only go to one store & dress like my Bubby! The clothing list is endless. I was on the top of my game by the end of the night.
One of my friends even suggested that I go do stand up at Yuk Yuk's.
I think that I need to make a statement now. I was a walking fashion disaster. I still have my moments & am far from perfect. I don't want people who hear my rant who've known me to say " But you've had some fashion crap yourself. I remember when you wore long johns with boxer shorts out as your everyday wear." or " You complain that people wear pants where the underwear are showing, but you have been a victim of that!"
I know I have been a victim of fashion disasters! I hear you! I acknowledge & I am working towards repairing the damage. I do have a few things that I could say in my defence but I own that I have many many many times been a disaster!
As for me doing stand up, I think there are a few problems with that.
One is I am too happy about life to do it.
Two I am only funny when I am doing it unconsciously. If I think about it, its not funny.
Three - I don't have a shtick that stand-ups have. Be it gay, straight, Indian, black, white I just don't have anything. I suppose I could do fat single lady jokes. But people seem to be uncomfortable when heavy women make fat jokes. It's some taboo subject that I don't get. I am making fun of myself people. I know of what I speak. I am not being a mean girl. Please give me a break!
The other thing that would make it difficult about my identity is that I am Canadian. My parents are both from Toronto. They each have a parent that grew up in Toronto. Although I am half Jewish, it is the wrong half. My Dad is Jewish not my Mum. Although most of my non-Jewish friends refer to me as their Jewish friend, the actual Jewish friends I have tell me I'm not Jewish (for the record I say I take after my Dad's (Jewish) side of the family, but I am not really Jewish!).
So if I were to do stand-up, being Canadian, I couldn't do anything interesting because we as Canadians are too PC. They don't want to offend anyone by saying anything slightly wrong.
There goes my stand-up career.
There was lots of things to talk about. Seeing as here in Toronto there is some crazy stuff going on. The former Attorney General had an altercation with a cyclist ( I am not making a judgement either way on that one until the facts come out. I have heard a million different things & that makes it hard to fully decide what is right or wrong, or who did what to whom. The whole thing is just bizarre!).
There was also that same night, a wacko who after an altercation with a woman got on a bus & eventually pulled out a can of gasoline, poured it on the bus seats, then set it a blaze. It was captured on the TTC security camera in the bus. As weird as it was, who on earth just happens to carry a can of gasoline in their bag? Is it just for emergencies? I know I am often annoyed when I realise I left my gas can in my other bag. BIZARRE!
But those conversations weren't as much fun as the bad actors who win awards for bad performances.
We started a conversation about bad clothing issues. Sort of fashion police kind of stuff. I went on a rant about age appropriate jeans for my Mum, muffin tops, capped sleeves, Shorts on fat people ( I am a recovering fat person who wore shorts so I know of what I speak!), the disappointment of selection of plus sized clothes in the late eighties, early nineties when I could only go to one store & dress like my Bubby! The clothing list is endless. I was on the top of my game by the end of the night.
One of my friends even suggested that I go do stand up at Yuk Yuk's.
I think that I need to make a statement now. I was a walking fashion disaster. I still have my moments & am far from perfect. I don't want people who hear my rant who've known me to say " But you've had some fashion crap yourself. I remember when you wore long johns with boxer shorts out as your everyday wear." or " You complain that people wear pants where the underwear are showing, but you have been a victim of that!"
I know I have been a victim of fashion disasters! I hear you! I acknowledge & I am working towards repairing the damage. I do have a few things that I could say in my defence but I own that I have many many many times been a disaster!
As for me doing stand up, I think there are a few problems with that.
One is I am too happy about life to do it.
Two I am only funny when I am doing it unconsciously. If I think about it, its not funny.
Three - I don't have a shtick that stand-ups have. Be it gay, straight, Indian, black, white I just don't have anything. I suppose I could do fat single lady jokes. But people seem to be uncomfortable when heavy women make fat jokes. It's some taboo subject that I don't get. I am making fun of myself people. I know of what I speak. I am not being a mean girl. Please give me a break!
The other thing that would make it difficult about my identity is that I am Canadian. My parents are both from Toronto. They each have a parent that grew up in Toronto. Although I am half Jewish, it is the wrong half. My Dad is Jewish not my Mum. Although most of my non-Jewish friends refer to me as their Jewish friend, the actual Jewish friends I have tell me I'm not Jewish (for the record I say I take after my Dad's (Jewish) side of the family, but I am not really Jewish!).
So if I were to do stand-up, being Canadian, I couldn't do anything interesting because we as Canadians are too PC. They don't want to offend anyone by saying anything slightly wrong.
There goes my stand-up career.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Pain, soreness & confusion
So it has been 18hours since I my trip to the dentist & I am still sore.
Teeth are fine, but the gum where the two needles went in still hurt. OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!
My jaw is a little tight as well thanks to having to keep my mouth open for 1 & a half hours!
I did just eat an apple, using both sides of my mouth, although I am favouring the left side.
I am also stiff because I biked down to the pool & then swam for 35 mins! I stretched so don't go telling me that is my problem right now. Because it's not.
While I was swimming, my arms wear screaming at me (the were literally screaming at me!) because they were tired. Really tired. I walked & biked quite a lot this summer, but I didn't do much with the arms. My Bubby flabs are not as tight as they were in the spring. But I think with all the swimming, I will tighten them up in no time.
I am enjoying myself so much, I am even considering adding a fourth day of the week. I am also considering biking to & from school on Tuesday nights. I think I will this week as a trial. The main reason I worry is that I am not used to cycling late at night in the dark. But maybe if I try it now before it is too dark I might get comfortable! If it works out, I'll get one of those bike jackets that have iridescent strips on them. Or maybe the big yellow vest! I would be truly fashionable!
Now is the time in our program about obsessive food chat.
I thought that once I started swimming & biking on a regular basis that I would start to want to eat alot more. Surprisingly for me it it not the case. I am still not particularly hungry, but when I actually eat I feel a bit better.
What is the cause of my dilemma?
Is the food I eat in the morning enough to get me to last?
Is it the Greens+daily detox?
Am I just going through a phase?
I don't crave junk at all. If something overly emotional was going on I would want to eat more than I do. So this isn't depression.
This is a very strange place to be in. I don't know if it is temporary or if my body has just changed.
I certainly don't see any changes on the scale. I am not really complaining about that. I am maintaining the same weight & have been for a few months. It would be nice if I could drop 15lbs. That's the amount I have told myself I need to lose to get a new bathing suit. That & I have to consistently stay on a swimming schedule.
I know I have just started the workouts this week. Maybe it is just going to take a few weeks for my body to get it.
But my other problem is I worry about how much food I am actually taking in.
Teeth are fine, but the gum where the two needles went in still hurt. OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!
My jaw is a little tight as well thanks to having to keep my mouth open for 1 & a half hours!
I did just eat an apple, using both sides of my mouth, although I am favouring the left side.
I am also stiff because I biked down to the pool & then swam for 35 mins! I stretched so don't go telling me that is my problem right now. Because it's not.
While I was swimming, my arms wear screaming at me (the were literally screaming at me!) because they were tired. Really tired. I walked & biked quite a lot this summer, but I didn't do much with the arms. My Bubby flabs are not as tight as they were in the spring. But I think with all the swimming, I will tighten them up in no time.
I am enjoying myself so much, I am even considering adding a fourth day of the week. I am also considering biking to & from school on Tuesday nights. I think I will this week as a trial. The main reason I worry is that I am not used to cycling late at night in the dark. But maybe if I try it now before it is too dark I might get comfortable! If it works out, I'll get one of those bike jackets that have iridescent strips on them. Or maybe the big yellow vest! I would be truly fashionable!
Now is the time in our program about obsessive food chat.
I thought that once I started swimming & biking on a regular basis that I would start to want to eat alot more. Surprisingly for me it it not the case. I am still not particularly hungry, but when I actually eat I feel a bit better.
What is the cause of my dilemma?
Is the food I eat in the morning enough to get me to last?
Is it the Greens+daily detox?
Am I just going through a phase?
I don't crave junk at all. If something overly emotional was going on I would want to eat more than I do. So this isn't depression.
This is a very strange place to be in. I don't know if it is temporary or if my body has just changed.
I certainly don't see any changes on the scale. I am not really complaining about that. I am maintaining the same weight & have been for a few months. It would be nice if I could drop 15lbs. That's the amount I have told myself I need to lose to get a new bathing suit. That & I have to consistently stay on a swimming schedule.
I know I have just started the workouts this week. Maybe it is just going to take a few weeks for my body to get it.
But my other problem is I worry about how much food I am actually taking in.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Dentist hate!
I hate needles, blood, wrinkly fruit (That's for another blog!) and sharks!
Today I hate the Dentist!
I know no one really likes the dentist. I don't have a monopoly on those feelings.
Well no wonder I hate the dentist today! I had to have one needle of freezing. He told me that it should last 2-3 hours. Well I told him at 30 mins in I could feel what he was doing. Maybe he thought I was making it up (I wasn't. Trust me!). But he figured out when I winced when he touched my mouth. He then said I should have told him. I do recall telling him, maybe it was a miscommunication on my part. But I think if you say that your mouth is tingling which is the sign that it is wearing off, you might clue in.
Anyway, he gave me yet another needle. After another 45 mins he told me I could eat once the freezing wears off. Great. The freezing has warn off & let me tell you that I can't feel where he did the work but I can feel exactly where the needle entered my gums! It hurts to eat on that side. So I had to feed myself on the left side of my mouth.
I was telling people today, I wish that we should all just go with the old British teeth (I'm talking Austin Powers! "Yeah Baby!").
That's why today I hate the dentist!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
SWIMMING AGAIN! FINALLY!
So yesterday I had been all excited about going swimming for the first time in months. I had stopped due to Dad & Dog duties. I was very disappointed that my alarm did something wacky.
So this morning I went. I am tired. I am sort of sore. But I feel great!
I thought I would be a complete mess but I wasn't as out of shape as I had thought I would be.
I don't know what it is about water but it makes me calm & feel great. I don't realise how much I miss it until I get back in the water.
The other thing I noticed is that food tastes better today. I have been pretty much eating the same breakfast for a while with variations on a theme. It tastes fine. If it were horrible I wouldn't eat it right? But today that breakfast was fantastic. Actually it was the best Oatmeal I have had in a long time. I didn't do anything different. I wonder if the exercise makes the food I eat better.
I was worried that I might want to snack all day long, but since breakfast I haven't really been hungry. I am going to eat lunch now or I might gnaw off my arm!
So the plan is that I will swim Thursday & Friday this week. My normal days would be Monday, Tuesday & Thursday. Friday will replace the holiday Mondays. I know this will make both Tuesdays & Thursdays long days (for different reasons). But I kind of like it that way!
So this morning I went. I am tired. I am sort of sore. But I feel great!
I thought I would be a complete mess but I wasn't as out of shape as I had thought I would be.
I don't know what it is about water but it makes me calm & feel great. I don't realise how much I miss it until I get back in the water.
The other thing I noticed is that food tastes better today. I have been pretty much eating the same breakfast for a while with variations on a theme. It tastes fine. If it were horrible I wouldn't eat it right? But today that breakfast was fantastic. Actually it was the best Oatmeal I have had in a long time. I didn't do anything different. I wonder if the exercise makes the food I eat better.
I was worried that I might want to snack all day long, but since breakfast I haven't really been hungry. I am going to eat lunch now or I might gnaw off my arm!
So the plan is that I will swim Thursday & Friday this week. My normal days would be Monday, Tuesday & Thursday. Friday will replace the holiday Mondays. I know this will make both Tuesdays & Thursdays long days (for different reasons). But I kind of like it that way!
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